It is hard to believe that I’ve been living in Lisbon for over
a year now.
I had intended to keep up with this blog, but I obviously
haven’t. In general, this year has
proven – as with most things in life – to be quite different than I had
envisioned.
It has been a year of significant grief – a dear friend
committed suicide, and an aunt, my godmother, and two cousins all passed away.
My marriage ended. In many ways, this time in Lisbon has felt like a
retreat. A time to reflect on the past
and, while working and enjoying the present in Lisbon, make some serious
decisions about how I would like to live the next chapter, or should I say volume, of my life.
But let me get back to the purpose of this blog…to record my
observations during my time here. I’d
like to share some of my experiences and my observations of Portugal, Europe,
and cross-cultural identity.
Living in Portugal has made it significantly easier to visit
other parts of Europe. In addition to my
Germany and Czech Republic trip that I wrote about previously, I met my friend
April and her boyfriend, Ces, in Forte dei Marmi, Italy, where we stayed at
Ces’s uncle’s home. I felt so very welcomed and had such a great time. (And I
still dream about the meals I had with them!) I spent my birthday (it was a biggie) in Paris and enjoyed a glass
of champagne enjoying the view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower. I love Paris. I
had been there 18 years ago with very little money. Paris is significantly more
enjoyable with some change in your pocket.
I visited Terceira (one of the Azores Islands) with friends
(Rui, Leonor, Ricardo, Sonia, & Rita) and stayed at Leonor’s sister’s home
from where we could easily walk down to the water. We laughed and ate a lot. It
was wonderful. And importantly, we survived Hurricane Gordon…sunbathing! The
storm only affected Madeira after all the media hysteria. Unfortunately, Gordon
did prevent me from visiting my parents’ island, São Jorge. I’m trying again at
the end of this week.
In Portugal, Porto wins as my favorite Portuguese city and
the Alentejo region is just gorgeous and made me very home sick. The Alentejo
countryside looks a lot like
Northern California’s wine country (before they planted vineyards on every
square inch of dirt).
Porto
(Excellent) Porto
Estremoz (near Évora)
I’ve also visited London – I had been in London a few times
before living here and had never really seen its charm. I’ve come to appreciate it. It may be that
London feels in many ways more familiar to me culturally than Lisbon does. And
that brings me to one of my big revelations.
My identity as a Luso-American.
I didn’t come to Lisbon to research identity, but in some
respects it’s what I learned the most about.
I am the only child of immigrant parents. I’ve experienced
some of the typical feelings associated with that identity. As a kid there were
definitely feelings of being an outsider and I have struggled with many of the
typical tensions that occur when growing up in a culture so different than that
of one’s family. However, by the time I was in college, I felt relatively
comfortable with the fact that I had a unique family life with unique cultural
traditions, but living a very American life. Regardless, I still felt a strong
“Portuguese-ness” and looked forward to my living in Portugal to experience
that fully.
Well, I’ve come to realize that being a Luso-American (a
term I had never heard until I arrived in Portugal -- probably because I’m from
the West Coast, a place of relatively low Portuguese immigrant concentration)
is truly the most reflective of my identity. In so many ways I am very
comfortable in Europe and could see myself doing another stint here at some
time -- but it isn’t home. Though I can
be very critical of United States politics, policies, and even cultural
peculiarities, I know how to navigate that world. There are definitely things I
appreciate about the States and that I’ve missed. After living in Portugal for one
year, I still don’t feel like I know all the ins and outs of the culture (or
the bureaucracy). I’m sure if I stayed long enough, I would, but it has been an
enlightening experience to recognize that my upbringing in the States, my
American education, and my American friends result in a stronger American
identity than I ever imagined. I am American – albeit with a twist (a Luso
twist). (Of course, I am aware that there is a contrast effect here. I may feel
more Portuguese than I ever have upon my return to the States. )
I have learned a lot about Luso-Americans in the process of
writing a grant with colleagues here at ICS. One very interesting statistic is
that Luso-Americans who grow up in areas with low concentrations of Portuguese
immigrants are more likely to attain a college degree than those who live in
areas of high concentration (Rhode Island being the state with the greatest
concentration). I grew up in California where there is a large number of
Portuguese immigrants, but the numbers are diluted by the enormity of the
state. Though there may be pockets of high concentration (e.g., Central Valley)
where educational attainment by Luso-Americans may reflect what we see in high
concentration states like Rhode Island and Massachusetts, for the most part,
Portuguese immigrants there have not been seen as a minority group per se. I
think that where they are not identified as a minority group, assimilation and
acceptance has resulted in gains, at least in educational attainment by
Luso-Americans. I also think they are
also less likely to identify as Portuguese, speak Portuguese, and feel any
attachment to the “mother land”. If the grant comes through, I’ll let you know
if I’m right.
I appreciate that my experience here has updated my
understanding of Portuguese people and in some ways helped me have a deeper
understanding of my parents. My parents immigrated
from the Azores Islands to California before I was born. I grew up speaking
Portuguese (albeit poorly) and English. And I always thought of my parents as
Portuguese, not recognizing that being Azorean is, at least in some respects,
culturally different than being Portuguese from the mainland. However, though
some may argue with me, my perception is that the differences are no bigger
than the other regional differences between areas of mainland Portugal. For a
country that is about half the size of California, it is amazing how many
regional differences there are!
There are so many different subtle (and some not so subtle)
accents, foods, pastries, perceptions of time, etc. The time issue is a big one
here in Lisbon. My parents are extremely punctual people. I generalized that to
all of Portugal. Not true. Not true in the slightest. I learned quickly that if
I arrived on time for a meeting or social gathering, I would likely be sitting
alone for a while. I’ve been told this is regional – in some areas, tardiness is
not typical or as acceptable and this provides some support for my suspicion
that tardiness is highly related to class. The higher the class the more
fashionably late. (Don’t quote me on that one…it’s based on anecdotal
evidence.)
My parents left before the military coup on April 25, 1974
that ended nearly 50 years of a dictatorship.
They left a very different country than the one that exists today, 42
years after they left. For example, when they left, women still didn’t enjoy
full equality with men (didn’t happen until 1976). Women were not allowed to
travel and hold their own passport without permission from their husbands until
1968!! Today, my contemporaries and those younger than me have a very different
experience – at least among the educated group that has grown significantly.
Men tend to be highly involved with the responsibilities related to childcare
and the majority of women work outside the home (if they can hold on to their
jobs these days). The influx of immigrants from former colonies (colonies were
turned over in 1976) to Portugal has also resulted in a variety of social
shifts and issues.
Another big shocker is the level of bureaucracy in this
country. At times, it is truly Kafka inspired. The European financial crisis is
the result of a complex set of domestic and international circumstances, but at
times I can’t help but wonder – couldn’t there be financial savings if the
administration of public affairs were just a bit more streamlined?
Of course, I came to Lisbon as a social psychologist to conduct
research and was able to conduct a nice follow up study to my dissertation that
I am currently packaging and hope to publish soon. Unfortunately, as many of my
researcher friends can relate to all too well, I spent a significant amount of
my time here writing grants to a funding agency whose budget has been slashed in
a time of significant economic uncertainty. The Troika is only reducing the ability for the country as a whole to
be productive. Education and research
are taking very serious hits, not to mention social services such as healthcare.
I do not understand how anyone can believe that such incredible cuts will lead
to increased GDP. That’s not the way this is going to turn around and
unfortunately, I fear that things will get significantly worse here before they
get better.
Well, my time in Portugal is coming to a close. As I reflect
on my time here over the course of the next few weeks, I will continue to write.
Thanks for checking
in.
